Sunday, August 23, 2009

Burnington Secrets: Part II


Shiloh’s gaze was furious and unwavering from the grim building that was the Burnington Estate. It seemed as if the dark picture would only be complete if lightning were to strike overhead. The outer stone had gone a blue/black color over the years and climbing weeds grew in the crevasses of the stone. Lightning cracked overhead and another down poor of rain came. Shiloh frowned, a confused determination coming over her.

“Shi, I really hope your not thinking of going in there. The police have already looked everywhere…” Wes started to plea, but Shiloh was already stiffly advancing back down the trail to the gargantuan front doors. Wes had no choice but to follow after her.

As he tried to convince her that they needed to go home now, Shiloh was forming a plan. She didn’t care about the rain. She didn’t care that it was past dinnertime. She didn’t care that this was probably the most stupid thing she had ever done. All she cared about was getting Sammie. She had to be inside the Burnington Estate. And she was going to get her out.

Shiloh tugged at the locked doors. They looked about a thousand years old and as if the wood was rotting.

“Wes, do you think you could, maybe… “ She batted her eye lashes at him, and he clenched his jaw. Bracing himself for the blow, Wes ran shoulder first at the middle of the double doors. Just as Shiloh had thought, they blew right open, swing with a loud and haunting, WOOSH.

If she knew anything about Wes, it was that he was always willing to show off his strength. Football for ten years wasn’t all for nothing, right?

They walked in together, and inky blackness was all that could be seen inside. They both flipped open their phones like a flashlight, and suddenly Shiloh’s blood ran frigidly cold. Dark spots stained the floor. Not any kind of excessive bleeding, but little droplet’s from a small girl’s wounds.

The furious confidence that once inhabited Shiloh vanished like sand through her fingers. She clung to Wes’s arm, almost so tight she thought she might cut off his circulation. If he was in pain, he wasn’t showing it, but she saw equal fear in his dark eyes.

They slowly walked forward and Shiloh’s voice quivered. “Sammie?” she whispered, the silence unnerving her. “Sammie? Sammie?” they both whispered, each time gradually getting louder and moving deeper into the house. Then a heart stopping crash echoed throughout the house, making Shiloh and Wes scream. The crashing continued, as if it were coming down a hallway- towards them.

Shiloh turned around her heart beating so wildly it all ran together. It seemed that they had gone so far into the house that the dim light from the front door could no longer be found.

“Wes get me out of here,” She hissed as he had already begun to drag her out. A moan type scream came from somewhere behind them. Shiloh cut loose and split for the door screaming as if she had never used her vocal cords before. The front door finally came into view and just as they made it back out into the pounding rain, she turned around to see the dimly lit figure of a man sprinting after them, a knife in hand.

They ran past the glass house, past the overgrown garden, only to find the front gates closed, and locked. They pressed their backs against the gate, both thinking franticly of some kind of escape. Then, he was outside, running at them. A demented, twisted, torturous look cringed in his eyes, almost as if he were foaming at the mouth.

Hopelessly, Wes and Shiloh began to climb the gate. As she franticly tried to find something to hold onto, Shiloh cut her hand on a large, sharp thorn. Black sticky blood gushed slowly out of the wound. But she stopped, cold stiffness striking her when the man said her name.

“Shiloh, you don’t really want to leave, do you?” he laughed. “You came to get something, didn’t you? But you never thought of me.” He giggled at first, but began to laugh hysterically, the rain fogging his features. The clouds seemed to turn a strange grey/yellow above and the rain poured in buckets.

“Did you really think you were going to find her? DID YOU?” the man screamed. His lips curled to form a distorted smile, one side leaning down slightly, the other revealing far too many yellowing teeth.

“Who are you!” Shiloh shouted, her voice cracking and tears coming far to quickly. “What did you do to Sammie!”

A shadow fell across the man’s face and he took a few steps forward. Wes stepped in front of Shiloh. “You don’t remember me?” He smiled. “I’m Paul. From the day care.”

It all suddenly came rushing back to her in a heavy wind. When Sammie was a toddler, she had gone to a daycare. Paul had worked there, but Shiloh had never trusted him. He just didn’t seem completely right in the head. She told the director her worries, and it was later discovered that Paul had been smoking drugs at the day care, keeping a dense supply in his car. As he was being hauled away to jail, Paul had looked at her with the same, demented look he was giving her now.

“Guess what? I know where Sammie is.”

From inside the house could be heard a girls high pitch screaming- tortured, pain-filled screaming.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Burnington Secrets: Part I


Shiloh ran through the pounding rain, her bare feet bleeding against the gritty gravel road. Her chest heaved as she pushed herself forward away and away from the miseries that clung to her home. Sammie was gone. Forever and ever gone.

Daddy seemed to have forgotten his job at the college, and now spent the days vigorously cleaning. Momma didn't talk anymore. The eerie silence that hung heavy over the spotless furniture in the McFadden house was too much. The stillness of country life was too much. The fact that her only sister was missing… never to be seen again… well, it suffocated Shiloh’s very soul.

Turning forcefully into the abandoned Burnington Estate, Shiloh flew with all her might to the safety and comfort of the overgrown gardens. No one came to the Burnington Estate. No one had lived there for over sixty years, and the unlocked doors welcomed any who dared. While the youngsters in town came up with wild stories to haunt each others souls, and dared each other to face the “Burnington Ghost,” Shiloh only new this place as a sanctuary of hope and regeneration.

She lowered herself down to the bench inside the glass house. It had two doors from the trail and another pair of doors opening over the large, plant-filled pond. Shiloh opened the doors and slipped her bloody, pounding feet into the icy water.

Her brown hair dripped rhythmically on her arm. Shiloh’s golden brown eyes, once filled with sunshine and love, now were clouded by lose and doubt. She ran over that night again, slowly swishing her big toe back and forth next to a water lily. After dinner, while the evening still glowed orange, Sammie announced that she was going for a walk. She wore her favorite pink dress and the necklace that Shiloh had given her on her seventh birthday last March. On it hung a small silver anchor, a symbol for Sammie’s love for the ocean.

No one had thought anything of her walking by herself. It was normal in their small town. Sammie did it all the time. But six hours later when she didn’t return, the police went out to search for her. Shiloh had sat in her room crying and praying and worrying. But none of that helped, because two months later not a footprint had been found.

Suddenly Shiloh’s phone rang, ripping her from her memories. She pulled it out of her pocket and seeing the name “Wes” flashing, she chuckled.

“Hey Wes,” Shiloh mumbled in the only tone she could muster.

“Hey, where are you? I was wondering if we could talk,” he voice was sincere and he seemed concerned about something. It’s just like him to worry about me, she thought.

“I uh… I’m not at home right now…” she started, not really wanting to reveal her secret hiding place altogether.

“Let me guess. Your at the Burnington Estate?” He asked, coyness in his voice.

“How did you-” Shiloh began, but jumped rigidly at the gentle tapping against the doors into the glass house. She swung around to see Wes standing outside in the rain, a phone to his ear. Though slightly shocked at him finding her here, Shiloh wasn’t all that astonished. Wes knew her almost as well as she knew herself. They’d been best friends since diaper days.

Shiloh let him in, and he shook his shaggy brown hair, sending water droplets flying in every direction. She squealed in response, and then hit him on the arm, not bothering to ask how he found her. He’d probably known all along.

“I uh… wanted to see how you’ve been. I know you and your family have been cooped up in the house for the last few weeks. We haven’t talked that much.” They sat back on the bench, and again dipping her feet in the water, Shiloh clenched her jaw. The attack of tears was an evil force that she had been determined to overcome. She had only let herself cry a little, but never showed any of the pain.

But she couldn’t hide it from Wes.

Looking into his eyes, Shiloh searched for something to grab onto as she slipped deeper into the cold, damp darkness of depression. She put her head on his shoulder, looking out at the constant patter of rain on the pond, and she cried. Shiloh let the pent up tears flow out in heaves and fits of rage and exhausting sadness. Wes knew to hold her in a hug, and just let his hurting friend hurt.

When the rain had lightened and the sky had grown a darker shade of grey they stood up, beginning to walk back to the road. Wes had his arm around her shoulder, and Shiloh slowly drug her feet. Then, a silver flash caught her eye somewhere in the garden. She turned her head to the right, looking over the dense green and growing weeds- another sparkle in the light rain.

Shiloh walked in a trance towards the object. Pushing her way through the shrubbery, she could feel Wes’ concerned gaze on her. Then, she saw it. It just sat there… as if it had no knowledge of its being.

There, thrown across a tall growing weed, was the silver broken necklace chain, and the small silver anchor laying still on a leave. Covered in blood.

Monday, August 17, 2009

All this makes me want a nap...

It seems that my dearest blog has been forgotten in these last few weeks. How sad. But it's not difficult to imagine in the craziness of the past few weeks. Turning fourteen, having a spiritual awakening, starting high school, trying to frantically brush up on my french, and the awesomeness God's making happen at Freedom Church. So, as best I can, let me try and sum of the last few weeks.

Well I turned fourteen (joy!), which brings two surprises to me. 1. Sweet! I'm another year older! And I actually feel older. 2. Crap. I'm still younger than everyone. Poo. Overall though, I am enjoying the smaller space in years between my friends and I.

I had a pretty awesome realization at the end of summer. I have grown so much over this summer, mostly thanks to God placing me at Freedom Church. The people there have helped me to mature and learn more than I have in months. I began to see what God was trying to teach me, and understood for a while that some of the bad or uncomfortable things we go through in the end leads to God doing some amazing things in our hearts.

High School. First thought - "Well FINALLY! I'm so sick of middle school. I'm here! I'm really, really here!" Oh the excitement. Second thought- "Well crud. This is no fun." On the one hand, I so love high school. It's not middle school, I'm making friends, it's not middle school, my teachers are awesome, and it's not middle school. Did I mention that it's not middle school? On the other hand though, its still school. My French II class is pretty intense. Mrs. Duvall does not like English. At all. Pout. So now I'm having to remember everything I can possibly remember to form a sentence.

This weekend had to be one of the most intense, worshipful, joyful, and funny-as-heck weekends in a while. Freedom Church hosted a youth conference called ENGAGE 09'. It was an all day thing with bands, speakers, food, growing, and life-change. The worship that went on Saturday absolutely blew my mind. Then, to double up the amazement, Sunday morning J.R. Lee's message on Honor absolutely rocked. (We even had an old school choir come sing. Those girls could sing!) So this has been a very crazy and exhausting end of summer and start of the school year. I cannot wait to see what happens next. (Although I would like a nap before that happens...)

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Spaghetti: Inside the mind of women

I sit down in the big read thrown centered in the living room. My eyes climb up to the top of the fireplace mantel. On one side is a plastic tree with white flowers and grapes sticking out of it...

Grapes. Oh my goodness aren't there grapes in Veggie Tales? Oh yeah cuz of The Grapes Of Math. Or was it Wrath...? Dad gave me that book about the dude who made veggie tales. uh... oh! "Me, Myself, and Bob." That is a humorous title i think. Hmmm... books... writing.. crap my journal. I have to finish it before school starts. 100 pages. UGH!! poo. I so don't feel like writing that much. Aww Jo's letter for my birthday was so sweet. I still haven't met her brother Nathan. He has a deep voice over the phone - not that I've talked to him, but Jo was in his room when she called me that time when I was walking around my stoner neighborhood with Becca. I was trying to be a photographer that day... Brett's photography is really good. I love that picture of my baby cousin Caleb. He's got his little puppy.... so sweet. I think if I had a baby I would name him Noah. Cuz of Noah from The Notebook and Noah from the Bible. I think my son should wear flannel shirts. OH MY GOSH! There was that guy at Chick-fil-A who wasn't even wearing a flannel shirt but Dani and I knew he needed one. To go with that beard. In the new Harry Potter movie they say Harry grew stubble. I saw nothing of the sort.

There is a book called "The Truth About Guys" by Chad Eastham. An amazing book I must say. It talks about how women's minds are like spaghetti and guys minds are like waffles. Women's thoughts all run together and connect to a thousand other things. Guys thoughts are supposed to be very boxy... or something like that... Will someone please explain to me, because I didn't find the book very clear on that side.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Navy Blue Heavens



We stir up the skies
Watch the stars bustle round
I ask for my own
And one plummets down

Lights hung above
In a string all aglow
This time is stood still
No push and no go

Beneath is the river
A mirror to the Blue
I smile quite slightly
And can only think of you

You know how I laugh
You know how I smile
You’d do anything for me
Seeing you is worthwhile

The stars my eyes
The green grass at my feet
The Navy Blue Heavens
Make everything sweet

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Poetry

Happy Comatose

The birthday clock
Ticking ever nearer
Joy shoots down my spine
And the anticipation is clearer.

Another year
My life with take
Another sunrise
Another cake

With friends and family
Near and close
A smile is stuck
In a happy comatose

Wisdom and knowledge
Love and learning
I accept these things
A desire burning

To grow and become stronger
A woman respected
I want to change the world
And be a woman affected

Monday, July 20, 2009

Soundtrack of my Life

I had some inspiration to make a soundtrack of my life. Its a little bit of upbeat, slow, chill, and stuff that just makes me want to walk around in the sunshine.


Get a playlist! Standalone player Get Ringtones

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Ubuntu: We are connected

Tonight as I sat in front of the computer, the lights and pages flashing by my eyes, I watched YouTube video's for the Love146 organization. The entire time, my heart was crying out for the little girls on the other side of the world, that I so desperately wanted to comfort and hold. Love146 is an organization to end child sex slavery and exploitation. There is a group called the Brothel that sells and buys woman, in this case young girls often under the age or 12 years into sex slavery- Child Sex Trafficking.

I was watching a video with Rob Morris, the co-founder and president, talking about how we don't get involved in something unless it affects us personally. We don't get involved with cancer support until a family member is diagnosed. We don't get involved in AIDS until a friend has it.

So how do we personally engage with the problem of child trafficking and exploitation? There is an African word called "Ubuntu." It means that we as the human race are all connected. What happens to one happens to all. When one suffers, we all suffer. In the book of Hebrews, God tells us to engage by imagining if we were the ones suffering.

Rob Morris personally engaged when he went under cover with investigators into the Brothel. He stood behind a glass window and saw all of the little girls being sold. Human beings... being sold. He says that while he was there he thought, "This could be my daughter," and then thought, "This is someones daughter."

So I encourage you now to personally engage. Imagine if you were sold every day to "clients," you were stripped of your name and replaced with a number, and you had no were to run tonight. Go to Love146.com and get involved. Donate, watch videos, and promote the abolition of Child Sex Slavery.

Here are the links to the videos and site:

http://www.love146.org/pages/page.asp?page_id=21460
http://www.love146.org/pages/page.asp?page_id=35962
http://www.youtube.com/user/Justice4Children#play/uploads/6/eqUjzO1R2oM
http://www.youtube.com/user/Justice4Children#play/uploads/0/d_MyUKFEgMc

I Knooow A Seeecret

Have you ever heard of Rebekah in the bible? Well, Rebekah knew all the answers of attraction over 4,000 years ago. Today I was reading an article in Susie Magazine called "How Do I Attract A Good Christian Guy?" Well to be honest, this secret it is the most simple answer that we complex women never thought to think of. To find a Godly guy, we have to be a Godly girl. Duh. I mean, why didn't I think of that sooner?

Rebekah was said to have the most rare beauty ever. As in super model beautiful and just plain drop dead gorgeous. But she didn't worry about if her make up was just right and if he outfit looked cute enough when she went to town. In fact, she really didn't worry about that stuff at all. Rebekah consumed herself in God's love, His Word, and serving the hurt and lost. She focused on building her inner beauty rather than her outer beauty.

So here are some of the thoughts from the author of "How Do I Attract A Good Christian Guy," Daniel Darling, that Rebekah seemed to know so well.

-Don't try to be noticed. Rebekah wasn't asking for attention. She didn't go out of her way to get noticed, she just did her job.
-Make every day count. Rebekah made a point to look nice every day. She brought her best personality, attitude and appearance with her wherever she went.
-Guard your purity. You could sense Rebekah's purity. It encompassed who she was as a young woman. That purity made her more attractive to the man God would bring into her life. (Isaac)
-Put others first. Don't be so concerned with edging up to the front of the line to talk to a Godly guy. Instead, let your service do the talking
.

Friday, July 17, 2009

The Travel Bug

My friend Dani and I were watching the Travel Channel this morning, and my favorite show, Samantha Brown: Passport to Europe, was on. The episode was about Cork, Ireland. Dani has the special skill of finding four leaf clovers everywhere she goes, so she was like, "I should go to Ireland because I could find so many four leaf clovers!" "That would be the reason you would travel all the way to Ireland." So that sparked the idea to write a list of places we wanted to travel and the random reasons why. Here is my list of places that I would like to travel to and reasons why. (keep in mind most of these will happen after I'm 21)

1. Ireland - to find a four leaf clover.

2. Tuscany, Italy - to try Limoncello (via "Under the Tuscan Sun") and save a lost kitten.

3. Edinburgh, Scotland - go to a Scottish pub and visit my ancestors, The McDonald Clan

4. Australia - to venture into the unknown and see if there happens to be a Christian version of Hugh Jackman there.

5. African wilderness - ride an Elephant and go on a safari

6. Paris, France - to practice my french and get sincerely laughed at, stand on the Eiffel Tower in the morning to watch to sunrise, go to the Louvre Museum.

7. Washington DC, USA - Go to the Library of Congress, the largest Library in the world

8. Copenhagen, Denmark - go see The Little Mermaid statue (lille havfrue in Danish)

9. Guatemala - Go on a missions trip and watch a volcano erupt.

10. Uganda - meet my sponsored child, Jovita.

to be continued....

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Holding Out For My Hero

[SPOILER ALERT FOR CHRISTY MILLER]
I just recently finished reading the last book in the Katie Weldon Series, Coming Attractions. This book had the biggest impact on me out of the entire collection of Christy Miller, Seirra Jensen, The College Years, and the other two Katie books. (Yes, it is a very long series.) God pretty much pulled the rug out from under me more than once while reading this. But, it was also really cool that I noticed when he was talking to me.

In the book Katie and friend/almost more than a friend Eli Lorenzo drive up to the mountains really early in the morning to watch the sunrise as something spontaneous to do before they graduate from college. On the way they are discussing "successful" relationships, and Eli tells Katie, "A good relationship rolls out naturally and unforced. Like waves. Love comes on its own schedule." That was really amazing to read because just that morning I was at Starbucks with my friend Mackenna, and she was telling me that love just happens, usually when you're not looking. So obviously I was listening to God after that.

Throughout the rest of the book, it was as if it wasn't Katie, but me in every scenario. In the last pages of the book, her best friends, Christy and Todd, tell Katie that she loves Eli, and she hasn't been admitting it to herself. So once she comes to terms at 1:00 in the morning, a dilemma is realized. You see, Eli grew up as a missionary kid in Africa and came to the States to go to college. Well, now that they have graduated, Eli is leaving, and Katie hasn't spoken to him after she yelled at him a few days before. So Katie is convinced that it's all over, she's missed the boat.

That is until Todd comes up with the most spontaneous, on a whim idea Katie would ever face - Get on the six o'clock plain to Nairobi with Eli, and see what God has waiting for them on the other side of the world. And as insane as it seemed, it also seemed completely sane and fixed by God. Katie didn't have any family to stay with, she had inheritance money for the plane ticket, all of her belongings could fit in the back seat of her car, she had been immunized for yellow fever and malaria when she thought she wanted to go to Africa on vacation, and she loved Eli.

So at six o'clock in the morning, Katie is waiting for Eli at the Security check in the Airport. When he saw her, in all that fictional climatic amazingness, I was in tears. Tears of joy, for this fictional person that I had grown up with since the seventh grade, and joy knowing that God had a plan for me. I am a girl, and as a girl, dreaming of my fairy tale is embedded in my genetics. But as Katie and Eli boarded the plain together, I saw that God could top any fairy tale I came up with in my head. The story he is writing for me is more quirkier, wild, funny, awkward, and creative than I can fathom, and I'm looking forward to it.

Throughout the 30-book collection of Christy Miller and friends, Christy and Katie always say that they are holding out for a hero, the man that God is molding for them. I hold purity near and dear to my heart, and I love that saying - holding out for a hero. So if you are a girl reading this right now, never settle for less than God's best for you life. He's got a Hero out there for you.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

A Fiasco, A Victory, A Green Scarf

I stood in the H&M dressing room, desperately trying to hold back the ginormas rock in my throat. A beautiful, slim black dress fell down me, but I wanted to cry anyways. Today was supposed to have been my lucky day. I only feel like shopping about 5-6 days out of the year, and today was one of them. I wildly grabbed every cute article of clothing my eyes caught, the pile in my arms, my dad's arms, and my mom's arms quickly increasing. I'm guessing there had to be at least 35 to 45 things to try on. And just my luck... nothing fit.

Now you would think that the sensible thing to do would be to simply get the next size up, but oh no, it wasn't that simple. I asked the dressing room lady to get the next size up in a blouse, and it wouldn't fit. Again, another size up, and it didn't fit, because now the straps were falling off of my shoulders or the waist looked too frumpy. Out of the 40 or so things I tried on, not one single thing I liked.

Those mannequins are quite deceiving. They're tall and friendly, with a magical assortment upon them. You just HAVE to try on what they're wearing because it's the most amazing thing you have ever seen. And then you are discouraged by the truthful fact that this gorgeously made top looks fat on you. (I secretly think that fashion designers have lived in their own world for far too long. Not every woman is 5 ft 9 inch. I happen to be 9 inches shorter than that.)

I walked out of the store, ready to just go home and cry myself to sleep because I must have the most awkward body in the world. My dad held my hand trying to comfort me with things like, "Not everything works. We'll just keep looking." We were almost out the Mall doors when my mom saw a lovely black and purple blouse. "That would look great on you!" she exclaimed. "No, It would just make me look fat," I remarked in an exhausted voice. Ignoring my words, she pulled me into Express Women's.

A kind woman working there made small talk with me and complimented my figure. She gave me the cute blouse in the window display in an XS. Though it was nice of her to think me so small, I knew she was wrong. When she left I grabbed a medium. I dragged my legs to the sale rack and found and adorable pair of khaki shorts, size 2. I was not a size 2 by a long shot, but they strangely looked like they would fit. What did I have to loose? I walked towards the fitting room, and a perky girl named Allie introduced herself to me and said to ask her if I needed any help. "Thanks," I mumbled. And to my astonishment.... it fit! .... And I looked good.

"Oh my gosh you look adorable!" Allie squealed. I explained to her my tear-jerking fiasco at H&M and she nearly burst into tears right their. "I'm just so happy that you're happy," she said with a bright smile. I liked her. So in the end I bought the pants, the blouse, and a black vest. I scanned the store one last time, and then I saw it - a green scarf. Immediately the image of Ilsa Fisher lying to Hugh Dancy to get money so she could by the green scarf popped into my head. (If you haven't seen it, Confessions of a Shopaholic is the best chic flick ever.) And what luck, my green scarf was on sale for $15, and 40% off that! It seemed like a cheesy version of a Christmas miracle. But then it hit me like a Frisbee. This Green Scarf was the perfect illustration of God's second chances and unexpected ways. I was expecting to go into H&M and come out with bags full of clothing I bought all by myself, but that didn't happen. I was discouraged when things didn't go my way, and then God blessed me with a confidence booster. Things may not go as we plan, but it's usually because God has something better for us down the road.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Things Unexpected

"I just remember you being so sad," Mom remembered as we talked this morning. I was realizing that God had done so many things to change me in less than three years. In sixth grade I was always so sad and angry. "I just told you that we were praying for friends every day," Mom said. And then a year later two amazing best friends were brought into my life - Becca and Dani. They mentored me into a woman of God at Eagle Pointe Church, and showed me that friendship wasn't so hard to find. I grew out of my sadness and anger, and embraced laughter and joy. I discovered Mr. Darcy, chocolate, Starbucks, God's love for me, and patience. And as things changed, I changed as well. I matured and heard that God wanted me to move. So in May of this year I jumped into Freedom Church with both feet - Oh so much not like me. I made and am making friends and maturing. "Mom, If God has changed me so much in only three years, image ten years from now! I just cannot fathom what he has in store for me. But... I'm excited to find out." In the past two weeks I truly have learned to embrace my life. Yesterday I was at Six Flags and our group from Freedom was waiting in line for the Goliath. I had my heart set against not riding this death trap. In my head I was thinking, I'll ride this before I get married. You know, do something wild and crazy in my last days of singleness. But at the end of the day I had ridden every roller coaster at Six Flags except for this one. I was going to do it. And after I did it, I was SO proud of myself. This week I had run my first full mile, ridden every roller coaster, and had an epiphany. All things I wasn't expecting. Who knows what else is in store...

Miles To Go - Dave Barnes [Chorus]

Lift up your eyes and don't stand still
People of the world
And people of the will
Move on and on and on down this road.

Don't give up and don't give in
Someday you will be strong again
But there's still miles to go.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

You Have to Stop Sooner or Later

Self-pity is an easy thing to wallow in. Depression can become over-whelming in many cases. C.S. Lewis once said, "Crying is all right in its own way while it lasts, but you have to stop sooner or later, and then you still have to decide what to do." Tear's can be a constant companion to some. *Cough, cough, uh* But the wise C.S. Lewis is right; When you spend your days alone in your room, a cloudy sky dripping through the window, its time to do something. At church this morning, Pastor J.R. said that we often ask God to save us from the fires in our lives. What we should be praying is for God to bring us through the fires. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." "If God brings you to it, he'll bring you through it." Though my thought are very off the wall today and I don't have any interesting outstanding things to say, I hope God brings you through your trial. You have to stop dreading sooner or later and trust that God knows what he's doing.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Poetry

Bittersweet
There are good days,
when everything goes right.
There are bad days
when everything goes wrong,
And then there are those bittersweet days
when good comes from bad,
and right comes from wrong.
On these days the Lord has a plan,
though foggy and unseen.
He knows what's best for us,
even when not knowing makes us scream.
And on bittersweet days
when good comes from bad
and right comes from wrong,
the Lord holds our hands
to help us stay strong.

Morning World
The morning world
all wet and dreary
the trees bloom green
the grass grows weary
drip, drip goes the rain
and the wind blows through
and all this time
I'm thinking of you
The clouds are covering
the world below
outside this backyard
it's all push and go
how many times
I lay in wake
and think of you
and your lovely face
The world is peaceful
calm and still
I love you my darling
I always will

Inspiration
I'm trying to think.
Oh, can't you see?
The lack of inspiration;
A loss to feel free.

What should I say?
What should I write?
I want to shout my opinions,
but the strain is too tight.

Should I write about war?
How it kills the ones we love.
Should I write about natural disasters,
the rain pounding from above.

Should I write about violence,
A bullet shooting through the heart.
Should I write about drugs,
How they rip your body apart.

Should I write about suicide,
and what we think of ourselves.
Should I write about hope,
and the ringing of church bells.

Should I write about love;
Searching the world for our soul mate.
Should I write about politics,
the opposing thoughts and debates.

Though all these things would be such a great subject,
my lack of inspiration prevents me from such.
So I'll look to tomorrow,
and the warmth of sunshine's touch.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Official Editorial - Twittering in Church

We all know of the traditional church – floral dresses, contemporary hymens, and a commonly slow message – but pastor John Voelz of Westwinds Community Church is trying to reach the people of Michigan in a new way. Twitter. Twitter is widely known for its 140 character status updates and fast, online friendships. Pastors all over the country are seeing Voelz’s point of view and teaching members of the church how to navigate the website. Voelz says that he challenges the members of Westwinds Community Church to be profound and speak openly through Twitter to God. So is Twittering at church harmful or helpful? I see it as a thin line that needs to be drawn. Twitter can easily be promoted as a way to bond in fellowship and see others lives up close. Many users of the website update their status every hour on the hour, explaining simply what is on their minds at the time.

Examples:
ChosenWrshp1 @westwinds I think healing would require us to recognize that we’re not perfect ourselves … And that others are not perfect either …
Maysville finally settling into a semi-normal groove… time for more coffee…
Jess_Ellen_May Headed to play ultimate Frisbee. Hopefully I'll have fun considering I can't play the game without injury.

So as you can see, I have a Twitter account myself, and see it as very beneficial. In this online world, I understand that by writing out your thoughts on a sermon or praying on the Internet helps people feel connected to others around them. It creates community. By updating the world on your life, you are letting people into your head, which is comforting to some. But is there a time to say enough is enough? Last June, there were over a dozen accounted “Twitter Sundays” in the country. This supposedly blessed day when twitterers are allowed to tweet at any time during the service, all during the service. This can easily become a distraction to many, completely taking the person away from the experience of the sermon. There is absolutely nothing wrong with Twitter in the church community, but when churches start to dedicate days meant for worship to this online connections site, things are getting out of hand.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

One Last Thought For The Night...


One last thought for the night: I'm dreaming bigger dreams nowadays. God is constantly laying Africa on my heart, and the idea of adventuring to NYC by myself when I grow up is slowly appearing. I don't see my small town life that much anymore, but rather over the hills and through the woods to the great, great unknown... Keep me in your prayers and God's possibilities and blessings wide open. (Photo by Audrey Carr)

Er...Um... College.


College is confusing. Once you get past all of the fancy buildings, Greek row, and the access to an endless number of restaurants, it all comes down to a single decision - which school to pick. Now, the single most downfall of my life happens to be decision making, so as my Georgia Tech tour guide made us walk around in the melting heat, I panicked. Do I stay in town and go to KSU, or travel abroad and learn in the French country side? Co-Ed dorms or single sex? Sorority or no sorority? Big city or the middle of nowhere? Panic pulsing through my veins and the sun pounding harshly, I tied to think about other things... such as the guy with the one foot beard on the Tech Trolley... Anyways, our guide later asked the writing group how old we all were. When the majority answered "Freshman," she smiled. "Well you all have a long time to figure out were you want to go. Don't worry about it now." Oh right... I still have to conquer high school...

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Hot Turkey

Deep breath, deep breath, I thought. Panic and anticipation ran frozen through my veins. Andrea stood beside me, a plush green alligator atop her head. Thank God we switched hats. So this is where my little blu sandals were taking me? TEN THOUSAND feet outside of my comfort zone?! The exercise our Writing Camp Teachers had prepared for the day was doing things outside of our comfort zones and writing about them. How ironic. The very day after I decide to embrace the unknown I am told to walk around Atlanta in a turkey hat. I suppose it's my own fault. I wrote down in my journal for the class yesterday that I was uncomfortable doing loud, crazy, and weird things in public. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Our teacher had given us five dollars; Andrea and I were to walk two blocks down to Caribou Coffee, order something, and talk to at least two people along the way. COMPLETELY out of my comfort zone. But wearing my sandals, all I could think to do was not look in a mirror and laugh it all off. Andrea and I told stories and giggled all the way, making awkward small talk with every passer by. Comments such as, "That must be hot," "I love your hats!" and "You having a bad day or something?" floated all around us. The thing I found most interesting from the whole experience... was that I enjoyed it. It seemed that being in something like a disguise set my outgoing, wild side free. I was more willing to talk to strangers and do something unorthodox. BONUS MATERIAL: I laid on the floor blind folded, with earplugs for 20 minutes in utter silence. It has to be one of the strangest experiences I have ever had. After your brain calms down, it's like being in a false sense of dreaming - like being on drugs without harming yourself. It's an out of body experience where you feel the stillness. I encourage all to try this one-day. I also tried Pad Thai for dinner. Going to a Thai restaurant for the first time was quite enjoyable - the spicier the noodles, the better.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Yes Woman

This week I am attending a writing camp in Atlanta, and today we had a speaker. Stephanie Davis was a very bright and enthusiastic character. Her green, and I do mean green, dress told me that right away. She told us all about writing personal essays, travel writing, writing for a magazine, editing, emotional attachments, and much more. But the thing that stuck with me the most was when she spoke about a writer's experiences. You can't be a good writer if you haven't had any interesting experiences. That struck me hard, due to the lingering knowledge in the back of my head, that I do not have an interesting life or any odd experiences. Stephanie continued to tell the group that sometimes the best stories can also come out of the worst and most uncomfortable situations. Situations such as a job as the Easter Bunny (Rabbit Redemption), a waitress, being attacked by a bird in the middle of a crowd, or an awkward outfit that you think looks fabulous until you get strange looks from your friends. These new ideas ran around in circles in my head as Stephanie left, leaving me alone with my shame. I have never lived outside of my comfort zone. Suddenly the movie "Yes Man," jumped into my head. If I were to say yes to every opportunity that presented itself (within reason of course), I would have a much more interesting, worthwhile story to tell. So I am now challenging myself to say yes to life, and see where my little blu sandals will take me...